Henry Cavill stars, monsters, mutants are battling in Netflix’s fictional epic as a magical warrior… and medieval poisonous masculinity.

Ann wasn’t properly deployed when I say about the new Netflix fantasy drama The Witcher, that’s something of a choice for those who like things like this. A tolkinesque vibe suppresses the air, the elves and dwarves are scattered with a gorgeous hand, and every character has 20% too much tone or too few dishes in their name.

Based on books from Polish writer Andrzej Sapkowski (and also known to fans of popular video games based on the same stories), the eight-part series tells the impact-heavy story of Gerrett of Rivia, one of the rare breed of monsters. -Shooters are known as witch. These are mutated supernatural creatures that roam on pseudo-medieval lands that divide the places of the places of demons and use their special powers to kill various fallen animals. Geralt’s first tremendous lyring giant spider, for which I wasn’t ready at all. Luckily, Geralt is played by Henry Cavill, a Jattingsam chin joined by a man and is the greatest actor to work at the moment, so the competition is soon over.

Geralt, the poor unfortunate if the excellently built eunuch is that he is entangled in the conflict between two Belsicos human nations, the Nilfagardian Empire and the northern kingdoms. I refer you back to Miss Jean Brodie at this point. His exploits begin when Lars Mikkelsen, as the overseer of a prehistoric garden filled with stragobor, Dana and naked people, commissions him to kill Princess Renoly.

According to Stragi-Boy, who is increasingly taking on the aura of a medieval leaning, he is one of the 60 girls assumed to have been mutated dangerously and dangerously. 4chan Dana killed many of them and conducted autopsy to prove his theory. Renfri’s mutation provides her immunity to her magical powers, if you were wondering why she doesn’t murder herself. It is also possible that ironic scenarios do not take care of themselves and they are kept busy maintaining snooping fruit trees between internet rants. Somehow, she wants Geralt to terminate her.

But Geralt is awake as he grew up, and is not hot for The Toxic Masculinity of Streegi.0 “Evil is evil,0 He informs his potential employer with an integrity this freelancer can only admire. “Greater, low, mad. It’s all the same. 0 “The sound you hear is a thousand monkeys falling from their typing stool in exhaustion.0 As this is only the first episode, no one can think well about it.

There are attempts to learn: at one point, our Henry asks someone to rhyme to prophesy. This is not a good idea, as it gives very sharp relief to the boundaries of Geralt and the sorceress and proto-feminist princesses of his merry band. Play it straight, with beloved screenwriters, or don’t play it at all.

My own pledge, when The Witcher and I had to participate in the company, is that I will devote myself from here and become powerful and powerful enough to commission my own epic sworders’ norsers fantasy that has everyone’s backs and sides. I can no longer bear the vision of actors who roam in aesthetically strict wired wigs, which are certainly the height of impracticality for any warrior, supernatural or otherwise, and make everyone look like sub-fab supplanted a word before Lambda have been left in unspecified humiliation.

This is the merry Christmas wish. But then again, if you like this kind of thing, go crazy. And a happy festival to all of you.